Life in Queen Medb's Castle
Friday, May 23, 2003
I'm still alive. . .but there are about a thousand dead ants strewn across my sidewalk. . . It looks like a Civil War Battlefield! unfortunately, I saw about three thousand more trying to find new homes. I sprayed them too, though. . . Heh heh heh. . . .
Thursday, May 22, 2003
I think we finally got all the ant nests sprayed tonight with my new sprayer. . . after, that is, dowsing my face, hair, arm and thigh, and Stoney's arm in the attempt. *sigh* Hope we don't die. If I'm not heard from in a few days, inform the authority figures and ask them to check on us, okay? Death by ant poison would be SUCH the poetic justice death for me. . . considering how COMPLETELY I despise ants and how I would walk an extra mile just to stomp one. Blech. Ants. Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ech!
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
On Being Attacked
Oooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. What a day. I've been hit, slapped at, kicked, punched on, pinched, wallered on, scratched, climbed over, spat upon, snotted on, muddied, soiled with various and unknown objects, screamed at, and, in general, soundly beaten and abused. (Though, oddly enough, not bitten!)
What army did this, you ask? What 1000s upon 1000s of troops conquered my indomitable spirit? What SWAT team, Green Berets or Special Forces conspired together to create my defeat?
Six children, all small in stature, between the ages of five and seven, and all superhumanly strong.
In my defense, let me point out that they are autistic, three of whom are almost completely nonverbal, that it is the last week of school and that I am a substitute. That, I think, about sums up the situation. *groan* But, I can hardly move from the pain inflicted upon me!
That abuse, however, wasn't the worst incident of my day. Far from it! On my way to work this morning, all bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, innocent and happy (okay. .. well. . .but one of those adjectives is true!), I was brutally and without just cause attacked by a H U G E, white alien of a Daddy-Long-Legs who threw himself across my face and tried to use mindcontrol to subdue me so he could take me back to the mothership. I fought valiantly, nearly wrecking in the attempt, but at last I was victorious! Or so I thought. . . he hid on the dashboard and waiting til I was on the interstate, at which time he tried to inch back toward me. I fought him off, whilst driving in the midst of rush-hour traffic, with the ingenious use of a white, paper napkin. When I got to work, I jumped out of the car as fast as I could and left him to bake in the hot sun all day. Hah! Take that you evil alien!
So, that was my day. . . How was yours?